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Portland "green" gym to generate its own energy from rooftop solar panels, patrons' exercise bikes and treadmills, and their inexhaustible supply of smug |
(96) |
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Alcohol found to be linked to assaults. I swear to God, if *hic* this doesn't get greenlit, I'm gonna punch someone in the face |
(45) |
| (Some Guy) |
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The crane's to blame, it's mainly in the train |
(23) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Today on ask Billy Graham: My wife is disabled because of a stroke, some of my friends are telling me I'm crazy not to find a mistress. How can I explain to them that God wants me to be faithful? |
(388) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this sky rider |
(45) |
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Jar of mushrooms leaking onto passenger with mushroom allergy forces Boeing 737 to make emergency landing |
(86) |
| (National Hurricane Center) |
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It's still too early to buy tickets to Katrina II: Electric Boogaloo, but it appears to be deep into post-production |
(261) |
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Angry that his in-laws won't leave his home, man does the logical thing and calls the cops then storms upstairs and tears up his wife's new $28 bra |
(103) |
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Carnegie Mellon professor charged with third DUI in eight days, obviously not a math expert |
(56) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Dunkan must die. I do not think that they mean that he will be dipped in coffee thou. Hero props to the jury |
(179) |
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Polise in Arkansaw cant spel wurth shiat |
(84) |
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Google maps captures a unique proposal |
(103) |
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'Inconsolable' baby elephant back with mother. AWWWW pics and video included |
(49) |
| (KETV) |
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Bellevue police said an explosion Wednesday morning in a house on 24th Avenue is suspicious. (Actual headline) |
(60) |
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Case gets murkier as Deputy fired after lying about relationship with mother who "forgot" to file police report on "missing" child |
(49) |
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For the first time outside of reel life, a major political party has nominated an African-American for President of the United States of America |
(1093) |
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All those "Messiah complex" complaints from the right? Turns out they're just concerned because this is the first time the Democratic Party has a candidate people are enthusiastic about |
(290) |
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Body Farm: Decomposing body was in Casey Anthony's car |
(117) |
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Not news: Man upset with his bank. News: Changes his telephone password to "Lloyds is pants". Fark: Bank changes it to "no it's not". Ultrafark: He tried "Barclays is better" but the bank said no |
(118) |
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Cool: Mythbusters take on Apollo Moon landing tonight. Double cool bonus: A TF'er got to help |
(334) |
| (Celebridiot) |
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Mackenzie Phillips busted for drug possession at LAX. When will washed up celebrities learn that you can buy drugs when you land |
(87) |
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Baghdad to build giant ferris wheel. Potential names include "The Target"; "Please Bomb Me"; and "Missile Magnet" |
(48) |
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What can Hillary's body language tell us about how she -really- feels about Obama? It's not news it's CNN. Bonus: The comments are made of win |
(114) |
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The DNC protest zones in Denver draw exactly the same number of protesters as the ones the Chinese set up for the Olympics, showing how awesome free speech really is |
(90) |
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ABC producer arrested for following the money falling out of the pockets of VIP donors at private fundraisers around Denver |
(129) |
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Scientists transform one type of cell into another. Five-assed monkey will be achieved in our lifetimes |
(69) |
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Will Bubba steal the show? Will Biden rip off another speech? It's day 3 of the Democratic National Convention Discussion Thread |
(lots) |
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FBI implements chinese democracy on blogger for prematurely unleashing the atrocities of GnR |
(146) |
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Carmen Electra wrestles Kim Kardashian in new spoof, 'Disaster Movie'; says, "We get into some down and dirty positons... Kim is so cool, not to mention being hot." Translated: "Go see my new movie." |
(252) |
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If your mom posts your $100K cash bail, then you get arrested again, you'd better get her a damn nice Mother's Day card |
(72) |
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Fark's favorite motivational speaker charged with shooting at people after a night of drinking. Patrick Swayze unimpressed |
(85) |
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Turns out Daddy Yankee tried to endorse Obama first, but was told his music sucks and to fark off |
(140) |
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Having problems getting around that pesky 4th amendment? Reclassify your police officers as "code enforcement" officers who can condemn houses and need no search warrant to enter |
(242) |
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Photoshop these Jordanian policewomen training |
(58) |
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Hip hop mogul Marion 'Suge" Knight arrested in Las Vegas |
(150) |
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Famous suicide cliff to add "take a number" tickets after rescuers nearly killed by next suicide victim while trying to retrieve body of the last one |
(188) |
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Lawyer says 1000lb woman was too fat to beat nephew to death, ignoring the fact that all she had to do was shake her shoulders and a couple of lethal, 150lb hooters would start flying around the room |
(233) |
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Look into the face of the 13-year-old girl who made your iPhone |
(274) |
| (Will Willkinson) |
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"The far-left has failed so comprehensively to make the case for its vision that the only thing left to do is to brazenly assert the world will literally collapse unless we implement this otherwise indefensible vision" |
(lots) |
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DMX drops the F-bomb in court (LGT Video) |
(111) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Illinois woman learns she owns Barack Obama's Jeep after she discovers it drives on water |
(69) |
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If you "borrowed" a Civil War cannon from Fort Huger, the Isle of Wight county police department would like a word with you |
(38) |
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Philadelphians are the best tippers in the country, tipping almost 20 percent at restaurants. Note: Does not include cheesesteak stands |
(244) |
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Switzerland exonerates the last European to be executed for witchcraft. Stateside, Ann Coulter breathes a sigh of relief |
(60) |
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Nine-year old robs restaurant at toygun point, is arrested because it's unclear if he was playing or not |
(50) |
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"Reporter" searches for Hillary at Hooter's. Subby thinks they are better off searching at Lou's Crab Shack |
(50) |
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Democrats bicker over how hard to hit McCain, fail to consult the Vietcong |
(183) |
| (some Yat) |
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Evacuation of New Orleans could begin this Friday due to Gustav. EVERYBODY CONTRAFLOW |
(355) |
| (HeraldOnline) |
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Seriously, who hasn't had their junk accidentally flop out of loose fitting shorts...while giving driving lessons to teenage girls...at least five different times |
(348) |
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Applebee's food order comes with delicious "out of date" sticker on it. Manager apologizes, offers to refresh drinks |
(311) |
| (Tax Foundation) |
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California may have a ballot initiative increasing the state income tax on the rich from 9 percent to 44 percent and taking 55 percent of assets over $20 million if the uber-rich move out of state to avoid the tax |
(475) |
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Metra trains to eliminate bar cars. Something about wanting "more room for passengers" or some nonsense |
(143) |
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A funny short video of Chinese people being exposed to fortune cookies (an American invention) for the first time. "Americans are so strange, why are they putting pieces of paper in their cookies?" |
(152) |
| (Intelligencer) |
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Since he can't have a home office, man now wants to turn his house into a Scientologist church. Suck it, zoning board |
(120) |
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The only rancorous debate that MSNBC is covering at the Democratic convention is between their egomaniacal anchormen |
(339) |
| (Hiking Penis) |
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Germany's "Naked Hiker" allowed to serve his sentence nude because prison clothes depress him, inconvinience his cellmate |
(179) |
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If you're going to rob your own truck, take the time to come up with a description of the fake robber |
(61) |
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Snake floats into home, nearly bites woman during TV interview (with video) |
(79) |
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Frommers travel guides coming to your iPod. So now you can walk around unfamiliar areas in foriegn countries gawking at your expensive electronics. Good plan, guys |
(38) |
| (Some Guy) |
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The four John Carlins in one small Irish village tired of getting each other's mail suggest a radical new idea: put numbers on houses |
(54) |
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Hijackers of Darfur airliner surrender in Libya after running out of small bills for drinks, pillows |
(27) |
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New Orleans has broken ground on a memorial to Katrina victims. Memorial will be in the form of a statue of George W. Bush giving New Orleans the finger |
(486) |
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Criminals try to rob money-changer at airport, end up stealing bag of snack cakes instead |
(63) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop Star Wars characters into other movies. LGT example |
(269) |
| (KIRO) |
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Hikers stranded on Three Fingers Mountain. Rescue crews searching the pink, the stink |
(33) |
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Most badass 15-lb poodle/spaniel mix ever chases two bear cubs -- and their mother -- up a tree |
(70) |
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Mom risks mother of the year award when she tries to trade her five-year old daughter for a used car |
(111) |
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"If being a woman and eating lunch topless in a public toilet is a crime then, yes, lock me up" |
(119) |
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Note to Florida: When females are placed in programs for troubled girls, it isn't because they're having trouble getting laid |
(48) |
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Louisiana law allows teachers to bring in "supplemental textbooks" about evolution, demonstrating Creationist tactics taking on subtle changes over time, improving their chances to survive in today's scholastic environment |
(717) |
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Slain couple with family issues write a will bequeathing insults all around |
(87) |
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Billboard campaign advertising historical naval attraction fails to mention Rum and the Lash |
(51) |
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Old and busted: Making students wear uniforms to improve public schools. New hotness: Making teachers wear uniforms to improve public schools |
(62) |
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Abercrombie & Fitch employees shocked, SHOCKED, to find that the butterfaces are regulated to folding shirts in the stockroom |
(415) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Firefighters returning from fighting a blaze discover their firehouse resembles rain on your wedding day |
(38) |
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Bats take turns "shutting up" when flying in groups. Obviously the male ones |
(29) |
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Old and Busted: watering down the drinks in a nightclub. New Hotness: watering down the pain medication in hospital |
(30) |
| (Some Guy) |
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The most incredible photographs of Chinese people painted to disappear into their surroundings that you're likely to see today |
(100) |
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(Are we still supposed to submit these kinds of stories or are we pretty much past this?) |
(54) |
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Today's "driving with .34 BAC with twin daughters in backseat" store brought to you by Sacramento, Calif. (w/ ".34 wouldn't be enough" mugshot) |
(64) |
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Today's Iron Photoshop ingredients: A monkey, a mouse and a moose. Difficulty: No cartoon characters |
(50) |
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If Moby Dick and Jaws had sex, this would be the product of their love |
(91) |