If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
GoogleWeb Fark
Thursday, August 28, 2008
(CNN) Unlikely Hard-hitting CNN report on bad reasons to have sex includes "Losing Weight" (24)
(Reuters) Scary HIV is spreading through New York at three times the national rate, which makes for a nice addition to all the herpes (32)
(Naples News) Florida Dumbass teen thief claims ignorance of stolen debit card in his pants pocket because the pants weren't his--he just found them in his van. Dumber yet: His spending spree with the card was at McDonalds and 7-11 (25)
(My Fox Kansas City) Amusing Weather on rollerskates? Not always a great plan. A local tv weatherman tries his hand at roller derby and it goes about as well as you might think. Let the jokes begin (43)
(CJR) Amusing Columbia Journalism Review numerically breaks down what the media are doing at the DNC: "4,021 are smugly bad-mouthing the convention and its participants. 1,026 are drunk. This is as it should be. " (40)
(TBO) Florida Your girlfriend repeatedly turns down your request for sex. Do you A) punch her B) arm yourself with a machete C) go to a different home and steal speaker equipment D) all of the above (88)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this Wonder Woman into someplace interesting (61)
(AP) Dumbass Purdue university professor decides to tell everyone he created cold fusion, effectively solving the world's energy problems. World: "show us" Prof: "uh...." (83)
(Outdoor Life) Obvious Hottest selling disaster supply item in hurricane-threatened New Orleans? Rifles (187)
(Breitbart.com) Interesting Looks like Ray Nagin and his legion of incompetents have learned their lesson and are ready for a hurricane this time (124)
(The Sun) Amusing Europe blighted by -- wait for it -- Nazi Raccoons. With an image that could godwin a thread from space (152)
(BBC) Amusing Elderly Swedish lady takes "self check-in" a tad too literally. Hilarity ensues (42)
(Some Guy) Cool The coolest map of the impending doom of New Orleans you'll see today (233)
(WSRZ) Amusing Proving that violence is an inherited trait, O.J. Simpson is attacked by his own daughter (69)
(BBC) Amusing Chinese police correctly recognize bagpipes as a threat to their country (46)
(Herald Tribune) Florida Note to petty robbers: Next time you rob your local gas station, make sure you are not recognized as a regular, don't fill out a Western Union order before the robbery and above all, make sure they do not have your photo ID on file (22)
(Lancashire Evening Post) Interesting Meet the woman who admits she is in love with giant rabbits (70)
(Sun Journal (Maine)) Asinine 64-year-old woman checks out "It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex and Sexual Health" from the library and refuses to return it because she says it's "dangerous" to children (216)
(CNN) Video Today's "Jesus on a ________" is a moth. This... is CNN (102)
(Lincoln Journal) Amusing West Virginia county holds a disaster drill featuring a disease you can catch from eating roadkill. Bon appetit, Cletus (45)
(New York Daily News) Followup Fat cat Shamu' takes on 44 pound 'Prince Chunk' for fattest cat in same south Jersey animal shelter (43)
(Some Guy) Interesting List of TV show marathons airing over this Labor Day weekend (194)
(USGS) NewsFlash 6.1 Earthquake on Vancouver Island, eh (157)
(FARK) Followup Indianapolis Fark Party--Saturday August 30th. Pre-party book signing with Drew and Joe Peacock at 4pm. LGT signing info (77)
(News24) Amusing Man's marriage proposal triggers UFO alert (63)
(MSNBC) Cool U.S. economy ....g.....g.....(what's that word?) ....GREW an unexpected 3.3% in the second quarter (453)
(AP) Obvious Western nations warn Russia: "hai, you better change course in this Georgia conflict or......or we'll.....uh, warn you to change course again." Putin: "Yeah, we'll get right on that, LOL" (144)
(BBC) Misc London motorway closed after milk tanker overturns. Trained counselors dispatched to prevent drivers from needlessly shedding tears (39)
(Telegraph) Amusing Far be it from me to suggest that student's literacy standards are slipping, but what the hell are "escape goats"? (134)
(Free Press) Dumbass The DA lost her home to forclosure. The mayor, whom she is prosecuting, can't pay his legal bills. Detroit- where the most fiscally responsible are drug dealers (114)
(Ohio.com) Scary ...but I did stab in a Holiday Inn Express last night (21)
(SFGate) Obvious "In the history of children's programming, has anybody gotten screwed over more than Grover?" (168)
(Telegraph) Obvious Eight to top 10 "happiest places to live in Britain" are in Scotland. Behold the power of whisky where it's considered a breakfast food (87)
(The Local (Sweden)) Cool Swedish sea monster 'caught on film' (with definitive photographic proof) (122)
(Gizmodo) Stupid Concerned about Satanic messages when playing Guitar Hero backwards, Christians release Jesus-themed guitar game. Stryper mysteriously absent from playlist (230)
(Mirror.co.uk) Spiffy Eight teams fueled only by cooking oil are competing in the 2,500-mile "Grease to Greece" road rally from London to Athens (28)
(News.com.au) Scary The Mumbai City Council resorts to using 42,000 liters of deodorant to overcome the stench from two massive garbage dumps. Anything less would be uncivilized (30)
(Some Lutrinae Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this otter (51)
(BBC) Fail A++ great seller. fast ship, great database of secure bank info, would buy again (37)
(Yahoo) Hero McCain picks VP. Launches plan to announce via an emerging new technology called "the telegraph" (318)
(Breitbart.com) Cool Woman gives birth on flight from Hong Kong to Australia. Passengers assessed $5 obstetrics surcharge (29)
(Quad City Times) Dumbass Note to self: if you ever decide to take hostages, for God's sake, don't send them on a beer run for you. They ain't coming back (35)
(Tacoma News Tribune) Fail Man attempts to siphon gas using electric vacuum (59)
(SMH) Interesting Turns out parents really do have favourite children. If you're reading this from their basement, it's safe to say you're not it (203)
(Daily Mail) Strange If you're a guy who enjoys sitting through long traffic jams because of your heated car seat, you never have to buy another condom ever again (69)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 173: "Panoramics" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme (245)

Wednesday, August 27, 2008
(LA Times) Amusing Portland "green" gym to generate its own energy from rooftop solar panels, patrons' exercise bikes and treadmills, and their inexhaustible supply of smug (96)
(BBC) Obvious Alcohol found to be linked to assaults. I swear to God, if *hic* this doesn't get greenlit, I'm gonna punch someone in the face (45)
(Some Guy) Scary The crane's to blame, it's mainly in the train (23)
(Some Guy) Fail Today on ask Billy Graham: My wife is disabled because of a stroke, some of my friends are telling me I'm crazy not to find a mistress. How can I explain to them that God wants me to be faithful? (388)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this sky rider (45)
(Daily Express) Strange Jar of mushrooms leaking onto passenger with mushroom allergy forces Boeing 737 to make emergency landing (86)
(National Hurricane Center) Scary It's still too early to buy tickets to Katrina II: Electric Boogaloo, but it appears to be deep into post-production (261)
(AZCentral) Amusing Angry that his in-laws won't leave his home, man does the logical thing and calls the cops then storms upstairs and tears up his wife's new $28 bra (103)
(WPXI) Dumbass Carnegie Mellon professor charged with third DUI in eight days, obviously not a math expert (56)
(Some Guy) Followup Dunkan must die. I do not think that they mean that he will be dipped in coffee thou. Hero props to the jury (179)
(The Smoking Gun) Sad Polise in Arkansaw cant spel wurth shiat (84)
(Google) Interesting Google maps captures a unique proposal (103)
(MSNBC) Sappy 'Inconsolable' baby elephant back with mother. AWWWW pics and video included (49)
(KETV) Stupid Bellevue police said an explosion Wednesday morning in a house on 24th Avenue is suspicious. (Actual headline) (60)
(TBO) Followup Case gets murkier as Deputy fired after lying about relationship with mother who "forgot" to file police report on "missing" child (49)
(MSNBC) NewsFlash For the first time outside of reel life, a major political party has nominated an African-American for President of the United States of America (1093)
(The New Republic) Obvious All those "Messiah complex" complaints from the right? Turns out they're just concerned because this is the first time the Democratic Party has a candidate people are enthusiastic about (290)
(WESH Orlando) Scary Body Farm: Decomposing body was in Casey Anthony's car (117)
(BBC) Hero Not news: Man upset with his bank. News: Changes his telephone password to "Lloyds is pants". Fark: Bank changes it to "no it's not". Ultrafark: He tried "Barclays is better" but the bank said no (118)
(Space) Cool Cool: Mythbusters take on Apollo Moon landing tonight. Double cool bonus: A TF'er got to help (334)
(Celebridiot) Dumbass Mackenzie Phillips busted for drug possession at LAX. When will washed up celebrities learn that you can buy drugs when you land (87)
(Breitbart.com) Obvious Baghdad to build giant ferris wheel. Potential names include "The Target"; "Please Bomb Me"; and "Missile Magnet" (48)
(CNN) Amusing What can Hillary's body language tell us about how she -really- feels about Obama? It's not news it's CNN. Bonus: The comments are made of win (114)
(CSMonitor) Obvious The DNC protest zones in Denver draw exactly the same number of protesters as the ones the Chinese set up for the Olympics, showing how awesome free speech really is (90)
(Denver Post) Interesting ABC producer arrested for following the money falling out of the pockets of VIP donors at private fundraisers around Denver (129)
(AP) Interesting Scientists transform one type of cell into another. Five-assed monkey will be achieved in our lifetimes (69)
(Slate) PSA Will Bubba steal the show? Will Biden rip off another speech? It's day 3 of the Democratic National Convention Discussion Thread (lots)
(Breitbart.com) Followup FBI implements chinese democracy on blogger for prematurely unleashing the atrocities of GnR (146)
(Starpulse) Unlikely Carmen Electra wrestles Kim Kardashian in new spoof, 'Disaster Movie'; says, "We get into some down and dirty positons... Kim is so cool, not to mention being hot." Translated: "Go see my new movie." (252)
(Seacoastonline.com) Dumbass If your mom posts your $100K cash bail, then you get arrested again, you'd better get her a damn nice Mother's Day card (72)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Followup Fark's favorite motivational speaker charged with shooting at people after a night of drinking. Patrick Swayze unimpressed (85)
(Politico) Followup Turns out Daddy Yankee tried to endorse Obama first, but was told his music sucks and to fark off (140)
(Houston Chronicle) Hero Having problems getting around that pesky 4th amendment? Reclassify your police officers as "code enforcement" officers who can condemn houses and need no search warrant to enter (242)
(Spiegel) Photoshop Photoshop these Jordanian policewomen training (58)
(Las Vegas Now) Dumbass Hip hop mogul Marion 'Suge" Knight arrested in Las Vegas (150)
(Fox News) Ironic Famous suicide cliff to add "take a number" tickets after rescuers nearly killed by next suicide victim while trying to retrieve body of the last one (188)
(Fox News) Followup Lawyer says 1000lb woman was too fat to beat nephew to death, ignoring the fact that all she had to do was shake her shoulders and a couple of lethal, 150lb hooters would start flying around the room (233)
(MSNBC) Interesting Look into the face of the 13-year-old girl who made your iPhone (274)
(Will Willkinson) Obvious "The far-left has failed so comprehensively to make the case for its vision that the only thing left to do is to brazenly assert the world will literally collapse unless we implement this otherwise indefensible vision" (lots)
(CNN) Dumbass DMX drops the F-bomb in court (LGT Video) (111)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Illinois woman learns she owns Barack Obama's Jeep after she discovers it drives on water (69)
(The Daily Press) Dumbass If you "borrowed" a Civil War cannon from Fort Huger, the Isle of Wight county police department would like a word with you (38)
(Philly) Interesting Philadelphians are the best tippers in the country, tipping almost 20 percent at restaurants. Note: Does not include cheesesteak stands (244)
(MSNBC) Spiffy Switzerland exonerates the last European to be executed for witchcraft. Stateside, Ann Coulter breathes a sigh of relief (60)
(Canoe) Asinine Nine-year old robs restaurant at toygun point, is arrested because it's unclear if he was playing or not (50)
(Newsweek) Misc "Reporter" searches for Hillary at Hooter's. Subby thinks they are better off searching at Lou's Crab Shack (50)
(Boston Herald) Silly Democrats bicker over how hard to hit McCain, fail to consult the Vietcong (183)
(some Yat) PSA Evacuation of New Orleans could begin this Friday due to Gustav. EVERYBODY CONTRAFLOW (355)
(HeraldOnline) Asinine Seriously, who hasn't had their junk accidentally flop out of loose fitting shorts...while giving driving lessons to teenage girls...at least five different times (348)
(The Consumerist) Asinine Applebee's food order comes with delicious "out of date" sticker on it. Manager apologizes, offers to refresh drinks (311)
(Tax Foundation) Unlikely California may have a ballot initiative increasing the state income tax on the rich from 9 percent to 44 percent and taking 55 percent of assets over $20 million if the uber-rich move out of state to avoid the tax (475)
(Chicago Tribune) Sad Metra trains to eliminate bar cars. Something about wanting "more room for passengers" or some nonsense (143)
(The New York Times) Video A funny short video of Chinese people being exposed to fortune cookies (an American invention) for the first time. "Americans are so strange, why are they putting pieces of paper in their cookies?" (152)
(Intelligencer) Amusing Since he can't have a home office, man now wants to turn his house into a Scientologist church. Suck it, zoning board (120)
(NYPost) Asinine The only rancorous debate that MSNBC is covering at the Democratic convention is between their egomaniacal anchormen (339)
(Hiking Penis) Obvious Germany's "Naked Hiker" allowed to serve his sentence nude because prison clothes depress him, inconvinience his cellmate (179)
(My Fox NY) Dumbass If you're going to rob your own truck, take the time to come up with a description of the fake robber (61)
(Local6) Florida Snake floats into home, nearly bites woman during TV interview (with video) (79)
(Google) Unlikely Frommers travel guides coming to your iPod. So now you can walk around unfamiliar areas in foriegn countries gawking at your expensive electronics. Good plan, guys (38)
(Some Guy) Amusing The four John Carlins in one small Irish village tired of getting each other's mail suggest a radical new idea: put numbers on houses (54)
(AP) Followup Hijackers of Darfur airliner surrender in Libya after running out of small bills for drinks, pillows (27)
(AP) Interesting New Orleans has broken ground on a memorial to Katrina victims. Memorial will be in the form of a statue of George W. Bush giving New Orleans the finger (486)
(News.com.au) Fail Criminals try to rob money-changer at airport, end up stealing bag of snack cakes instead (63)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop Star Wars characters into other movies. LGT example (269)
(KIRO) Scary Hikers stranded on Three Fingers Mountain. Rescue crews searching the pink, the stink (33)
(AP) Spiffy Most badass 15-lb poodle/spaniel mix ever chases two bear cubs -- and their mother -- up a tree (70)
(Livenews) Sad Mom risks mother of the year award when she tries to trade her five-year old daughter for a used car (111)
(News.com.au) Silly "If being a woman and eating lunch topless in a public toilet is a crime then, yes, lock me up" (119)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Note to Florida: When females are placed in programs for troubled girls, it isn't because they're having trouble getting laid (48)
(AlterNet) Interesting Louisiana law allows teachers to bring in "supplemental textbooks" about evolution, demonstrating Creationist tactics taking on subtle changes over time, improving their chances to survive in today's scholastic environment (717)
(NYPost) Amusing Slain couple with family issues write a will bequeathing insults all around (87)
(The Register) Amusing Billboard campaign advertising historical naval attraction fails to mention Rum and the Lash (51)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida Old and busted: Making students wear uniforms to improve public schools. New hotness: Making teachers wear uniforms to improve public schools (62)
(Dallas News) Obvious Abercrombie & Fitch employees shocked, SHOCKED, to find that the butterfaces are regulated to folding shirts in the stockroom (415)
(Some Guy) Ironic Firefighters returning from fighting a blaze discover their firehouse resembles rain on your wedding day (38)
(Fox News) Interesting Bats take turns "shutting up" when flying in groups. Obviously the male ones (29)
(New Zealand Herald) Scary Old and Busted: watering down the drinks in a nightclub. New Hotness: watering down the pain medication in hospital (30)
(Some Guy) Cool The most incredible photographs of Chinese people painted to disappear into their surroundings that you're likely to see today (100)
(Fox News) Asinine (Are we still supposed to submit these kinds of stories or are we pretty much past this?) (54)
(CBS Sacramento) Dumbass Today's "driving with .34 BAC with twin daughters in backseat" store brought to you by Sacramento, Calif. (w/ ".34 wouldn't be enough" mugshot) (64)
(Google) Photoshop Today's Iron Photoshop ingredients: A monkey, a mouse and a moose. Difficulty: No cartoon characters (50)
(Daily Mail) Cool If Moby Dick and Jaws had sex, this would be the product of their love (91)

Fark Forum